There are different ways that you can be a part of the recovery process, and choosing to be involved can be a great way to show support and help your spouse get through recovery. Addiction affects more than just the person who has it, and many treatment programs accommodate spouses and families. When someone in a marriage goes through addiction and the recovery process, it may feel like divorce is inevitable. Addiction can cause excessive strain on a marriage, but it doesn’t have to mean an end. Understanding what options are available to you, regardless of which way your relationship goes, can allow you both to control the outcome. The problem is that working a program transforms an addict/alcoholic in unexpected ways. Frequently, the non-addict partner may be bewildered or frustrated by these changes.

Effective communication techniques lower the risk of petty disputes and teach clients what to do if the conversation gets too heated. They’ll learn strategies for diffusing the situation by changing the subject or temporarily withdrawing from the conversation without allowing it to escalate. Of this number, about 1.9 million people developed an addiction to prescription pain medicines, and 586,000 had an addiction to heroin. Through rebuilding my life, I discovered my talents and strengths. I’ve learned the difference between embracing life and enduring life. In short, I learned who Debbi was and I learned to love that woman.

Other common pitfalls of dating in early recovery include:

It will take time to rebuild trust so it’s important to not put pressure on each other and instead take it one day at a time. In some ways, re-establishing a marriage in the wake of addiction is like dating and getting to know someone new, so it can be helpful to connect on specific date nights. It is vital for couples to have outside support during this time. Couples counseling can create a safe space to air out feelings and emotions and set concrete relationship goals to move forward. Each spouse should also be attending 12-step support groups.

Focusing on the other person’s behavior takes away from that, and you cannot change that person in any case. Successful partnerships do not require that both parties are perfect, but that they are whole and unique individuals. You cannot will that for your partner, but you can work on that for yourself. Therapy can make a big impact on repairing your marriage after addiction treatment. But those aren’t the important numbers – not to me, anyway. At least I can’t find where this subset has ever been studied.

Benefits of Holistic Therapy in Treating Bipolar Disorder

Like an optical illusion that you can’t see until you hold the picture at just the right angle, we had to let go to learn to hold on. I put a burden on sobriety’s shoulders that it couldn’t possibly carry.

It can affect every aspect of their life, from their social life to their relationship with their spouse and their children. One of the most common questions that people ask about addiction is whether a person’s relationship with their spouse is strong enough to go through the recovery process. Reading about how cocaine addiction affects marriage doesn’t have to be depressing. It is helpful to know that there are positive examples so that you have hope in your marriage and your relationship with your spouse.

How Cocaine Addiction Affects Marriage

At a certain point, decide that you will have to stop making your loved one pay for the events that occurred in the past. Neither one of you can go back and change them, nor does holding them over their head do anything for your current relationship. Accept what happened, and if you have marriage changes after sobriety received an apology and a sincere offer to make amends, decide to close the door on the issue forever. Never bring it up again, no matter how hurt or upset you become later. Friends and family will feel more comfortable expressing themselves directly if they think they will be heard.

Looking back and seeing that you did everything you could to help them will give you the ability to see your courage and tolerance. You came to a point where you had enough and told your spouse to seek treatment, or else the marriage could not continue. Now, your main worry is how your marriage will survive after treatment. You are afraid the dynamics will change due to their recovery and inevitably change your partner. My experience at Casa Palmera rescued me from a very dark time in my life.

Repairing Relationships Broken by Addiction

I had to recover from addiction, and my wife had to recover from so many years spent in codependency and dysfunction. We both had an uphill battle, but on top of all of that—on top of what we thought were the greatest challenges of our lives—we had to try to recover our marriage. And we didn’t have a clue how to begin to do that. I was irrational and, often, my insecurities weighed out over reason, which meant he tip-toed around me and couldn’t be open with his feelings.

Will My Marriage Survive in Sobriety

If you’re struggling with addiction, it’s important to seek help from a treatment center like Northpoint Recovery. Addiction treatment can help you get to the root of your addiction and learn how to manage your triggers and cravings. It can also give you the tools you need to rebuild your marriage after sobriety.

I was still forced to play second fiddle to my daughter and him, my feelings never good enough or worth enough. I was still forced to coddle him—or so I thought—and support him, knowing he hadn’t (and wouldn’t) do the same for me.

  • While my sample size is not large enough to publish the results, something like four of every five marriages I’m aware of where an alcoholic spouse quit drinking resulted in divorce.
  • Realizing that your compatibility with someone was largely predicated on drinking together can be a gut punch.
  • The great advantage now is that you are making decisions from a position of strength rather than desperation, and that is a good thing regardless.
  • It was the most painful experiences I have ever gone through, but it is also one of the most amazing experiences I have gone through.
  • You cannot will that for your partner, but you can work on that for yourself.

During detox, people are monitored to make sure their health remains safe while their bodies rid themselves of drugs and alcohol. It doesn’t matter how your partner got where they are today. What matters instead is recognizing the problem, and understanding and implementing the do’s and don’ts of helping your addicted spouse.